Fly & Flourish

After a session with my therapist, she wanted me to take notes on the things that triggers the heaviness on my chest or what triggers the tears. For the past two weeks, I have been waking up almost every hour or two with heaviness on my chest. Last night, I finally realized why. He used to sleep on the right side of the bed.

The past two weeks, every time I turned on my right side its the heaviness and reality of it that its not him next to me anymore. I no longer feel his presence, his warmth and the sound of his breathing next to me. I turn to my right and all I feel is pillow.

Where he used to be, where I felt his warmth have been replaced by a cold pillow. In the middle of the night, the sad realization of how we used to be hits me like a ton of bricks on my chest. I no longer feel you. I no longer have you.

The cold truth that you choose someone else when all I did was wait for you at our home. My home making a home with someone new.